These are the most important things you must do if you feel that you are in an abusive relationship:
- Trust your instincts, nobody knows the situation better than you (see notes from specialist section).
- Know it is not your fault. Do not take the blame or think you can handle it.
- Make a safety plan, don’t just leave; leave safely. (womenslaw.org and Neighbours, Friends and Families offer some information on safety planning).
- Learn as much as you can about abusive men (see the Domestic Violence section on the web site get to know the signs).
Don’t be caught off guard, look for patterns and watch for the following changes:
• job loss
• change in relationship (pending divorce or separation)
• excessive alcohol, drug use
• hurting your pet
• financial stress
- Find someone to trust, tell a friend or family member. Don’t go through this alone.
- Call someplace and talk to someone (you don’t have to wait for something to happen). There are local outreach shelters and Victim Services. Call just to talk, they are there for you!
- Learn what your rights are. Did you know you have the right to live without fear? (see the Self Help section on this web site to learn more on your rights).
- Please watch the videos on this site, get to know what services are out there and the people that can help. You will be surprised at how much there is for you. Special Note: They will believe you, they won’t be shocked or surprised. They have seen and heard it all! Trust them, nobody else will know without your consent.
- Keep your children safe. If you are worried about them, do something. Take them with you!
- Do not trust him with your life-trust yourself-you owe it to yourself. Call the Police, 911, Victim Services or a Shelter House (you do not need money or a vehicle, they will take care of you 24/7. They will be there and take care of you and your children).
Special Note: If for some reason you reach out and do not receive the help you are looking for, please do not give up. Try again and again, the help is out there, you owe it to yourself to keep trying.
- If you do not have access to a computer, go to Victim Services at 2 Ontario Street in Marathon, ON. They have a resource computer you can use or go to the library to get on this site. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn everything you can.